hospitals.

My Scott's sweet mom had a heart attack this morning. 

I'll spare you the details, but it's not good. 
She'd only been home a couple of weeks from another
heart incident in June and this one seems to be worse. 
My heart breaks for Scott, his sister, and their dad.  And then
I look at my kids and my niece and nephew and their
families and I just hate it.  I hate that this stage of life is here. 
The stage where life ends up hitting you in the face with reality. 
The reality that people age and get sick and eventually you lose someone you love so much. 

As I was standing in her hospital room this morning my mind
raced back to my wedding day.  She was so happy for us. 
She was so proud of me and wanted to tell everyone how
much she loved me and how excited she was for me to
be in their family.  That day and every day since she has
been so loving and kind to me.  She has always been my
cheerleader.  She's always done way more than
most mother-in-laws.  She's given, and helped, and
pitched in, and treated me like I"m her own.  She tells
me I'm a good mom.  She thanks me for loving her
Scott so well [her words].  She's truly loved me.  

I don't know what the next days and weeks will bring.  I don't
want to think about our lives changing so dramatically.  I don't
want to think about losing her.  I also don't want her to suffer. 
She's so exhausted and so tired of feeling so weak and so worn. 
So I find myself praying today for God's hand to direct
every single minute.  I don't believe she wants to be
finished with this life and I know we don't want her to be. 
So my prayer is that God is close.  For the presence of our
good God to be evident in every decision, every
observation of the doctors, every procedure, every medication. 
Every.  Single.  Thing. 
It's times like today that I realize how little the crazy
things that keep us so busy really even mean. 

I realize that what matters most is for us to know and
love each other and to live for Christ. 
That's really it. 

xx m-

Marian RedwineComment