364 Days

It’s New Year’s Day. We had plans to go to dinner with some dear friends last night and just enjoy the evening and instead we were home. My Scott hasn’t been feeling well and today he just feels crummy. To top it off, he went to an after hours clinic this morning and ended up being there for three hours - THREE HOURS. We have a tradition of spending New Year’s Day with my family at my brother’s — just food and football with a few card games thrown in. I went for a little while but wanted to come back and just hang with Scott. He’s always so thoughtful and I didn’t want him to be here by himself. So - it’s us. Fire going, Christmas tree still lit (I’ve made a promise to myself to take it down next weekend) and a movie on. Scott’s resting in the chair and I’m sitting here just thinking about the fact that I’ve been off for two weeks and somehow it feels like 30 minutes and I’m back to work tomorrow. I saw the forecast and there’s a 60% chance of snow day after tomorrow so hey! there may be an extended day off in my future, who knows?! I’ve been spending about 3-4 hours a day working on my dissertation and praying that the intentional time adds up to a finished project soon.

Do you choose a word each year to focus on or do you set resolutions for yourself? I’ve not ever been a huge one-time-a-year resolution girl — I pretty much add resolutions to my life constantly. But I did choose a word to intentionally think about and apply throughout the coming year. For 2019, my word is wisdom. James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you” (NIV). In the Message, this is how it reads: “If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it.“ There are several areas, primarily professionally, for which I need the Lord’s direction. I need real wisdom. I need Him to show me definite ways to work, things to say, when to keep quiet, places to insert policy, areas to leave alone. I love the scriptures direction, “you should ask God” and the promise that “He loves to help.” What a gift!

So, I’m asking.

Everyday I’m beginning my day with a request for wisdom. I believe that God’s going to show up in ways I can’t even think up, and I’m excited to watch Him work. He’s definitely put me in a place where I’ll sink without Him. I encourage you to think about where you might start stretching yourself this year. What’s one word you could etch in your mind to bring your attention back to where you need to be when life gets muddy?

Personally, my mental and emotional state isn’t a lot better than it was a month ago. I can cry at the drop of a hat…. still! The holidays were hard without Scott’s mom and finding our new normal for celebrating. We did have great times together, though. I’m listening to positive podcasts, reading everything I can get my hands on, and doing my best to spend my time thinking about the good in my life. It far outweighs the bad for sure. The truth is, though, I’m really still struggling. I’m asking for wisdom in this area too. I went to my dr. last week and hopefully we’re getting my hormones where they need to be. Middle age is just the pits, ladies.

Speaking of middle age, this is the year of turning 50 for me. I’m determined to be the best version of myself by the end of this year. Good thing I have 364 days! I’ll see you back here soon with some progress. I feel sure of it.

xo, m-

p.s. in other news, the Fresh Fruit Bible reading plan is out in Spanish [and coming out in Portuguese in 2 weeks]. The Spanish plan can be accessed here. Just shy of 1,000 people have already subscribed to the plan in Spanish and I don’t even speak Spanish…. is God amazing, or what?!

Marian Redwine2 Comments